Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
