hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
