She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
