so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
