I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
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don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
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The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you