I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The adults are the big ones right?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
