I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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