hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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