Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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