We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
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