3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize