Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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