I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
