how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
