On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
