it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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