38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
