How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He uses pillows to masturbate.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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