Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
