Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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