Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
