my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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