I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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