u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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