He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
If I die, sorry about rent.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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