Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
