once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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