He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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