I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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