But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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