There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
