I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
