it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize