My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
