He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
