No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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