I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
