I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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