I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
