I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
