Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
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Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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