adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We left the knife in your bed.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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