is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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