who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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