my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
