that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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