# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
