do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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