i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
