I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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