my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
