I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Can't talk, ducks in the car
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
