I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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