Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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