I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
