There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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