i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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