im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
