your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize