We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
